just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
jump out the window naked night went bad
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
