do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
All the doctor said was why
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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