I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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