At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
