Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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