I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
