member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
