69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize