and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
