areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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