Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
