i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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