I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize