M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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