I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
