i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
