1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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