I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
