So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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