How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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