I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
