The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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