Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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