trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
