Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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