so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I forget how to act sober
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize