I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
