...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
