I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
