"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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