fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
