Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
