nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize