I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
