So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
