ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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