I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Please don't give away my fajitas
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