This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
