i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
