i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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