he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
