why didn't you poke me back
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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