Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
