Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
