i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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