oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
