Porn is love you can see.
i just had sex bonerless
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
