idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
