Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
