Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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