he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
