Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
