Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
