is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
