Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize